Awesomesauce is the word of the day. Use it and use it well. I have no idea why I keep using it but I like it.

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I JUST ATE A HUGE PLATE OF WAFFLES AND WASNT SICK.

IT WAS WONDERFUL AND DELICIOUS AND I COULD ALMOST CRY I AM SO HAPPY.

Seriously.....I don't eat them very often but whenever I eat waffles or pancakes they make my blood sugar nuts. I'm talking like I'll have to take 7 or 8 extra shots to get it down. But today I got up and I wanted them really bad and they were sooooo good.

And I had TONS of syrup, bitches!

Surprise!!@ BUTTSEX is never a good thing. Take my word on that. Everybody needs a little warning and time to prepare. Because if you don't it can be painful. Now, don't sit there and giggle behind your hands. I'm trying to look out for you. I've got your best interests at heart.
But nevermind that. I get to see Tom Waits in a few hours! I am way pumped too.



I love this man. And this is my favorite song by him:



Friday left me fumblin' with the blues
And it's hard to win when you always lose
Because the nightspots spend your spirit
Beat your head against the wall
Two dead ends and you've still got to choose

You know the bartenders
They all know my name
And they catch me when I'm pulling up lame
And I'm a pool-shooting-shimmy-shyster shaking my head
When I should be living clean instead

You know the ladies I've been seeing off and on
Well they spend your love and then they're gone
You can't be lovin' someone who is savage and cruel
Take your love and then they leave on out of town
No they do

Well now fallin' in love is such a breeze
But its standin' up that's so hard for me
I wanna squeeze you but I'm scared to death I'd break your back
You know your perfume
Well it won't let me be

You know the bartenders all know my name
And they catch me when I'm pulling up lame
And I'm a pool-shooting-shimmy-shyster shaking my head
When I should be living clean instead

Come on baby
Let your love light shine
Gotta bury me inside of your fire
Because your eyes are 'nough to blind me
You're like a-looking at the sun
You gotta whisper tell me I'm the one
Come on and whisper tell me I'm the one
Gotta whisper tell me I'm the one
Come on and whisper tell me I'm the one

(the artist is Craig Hamilton)

You knew this was coming!

So, I'm fostering some kittens that I got from mooneyshine . She found them and was trying to find them a home. They were pretty skittish and feral at first as far as being kind of scared of people and hissy. But who can blame the poor little things. So, I am fostering them now and I think we are probably going to keep two of them and try to find a home for the other one. So, if anyone on here is interested please let me know. I am also going to be fostering some more kittens for three weeks and I'll post their pictures up here too. It's kitten season! I don't know, I just really like being able to take them in and get them used to people. It makes me feel good to have that connection and it gives me something to do. I know I can't save every kitten I see but I can save these and I am doing what I can. Anyway, here are PICTURES of our babies!

*As I take care of these cats and go to Furkids I can't help but wince at the stereotype of the cat lady. You know, the lady who buys Cat Fancy and only feeds her cat from the table with a bib around it's neck and a sparkling collar and wears those horrendous cat t-shirts that are only okay for 12 year olds to wear. I am really scared of becoming this lady, but I think I will be okay as long as I keep my werewolves close to me and tell dirty jokes a lot. That way I can balance out my cat ladyness with my other weird habits. Hahaha!



Loki

I just bought tickets to see Bob Saget here in Atlanta. He is a funny mofo!

jakob_ver2           posted this and it is too good not to repost. I almost fell out of my chair a few times!




Let's visit the softer side of FeedingTube for a moment. The side you could bring home to mom. The artistic side. Today we'll share with you some very pretty and beautifully written feedingtube poetry in haiku format. This is something classy for you and your loved one to read aloud to your children if you have any. If not, just curl up and whisper these lovely poems into your lover's ear. Without further delay FeedingTube presents "FeedingTube's World Famous Haikus (in 5-7-5 format)" for your reading pleasure!

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping thru the forest road when she sees

The big bad wolf crouched down behind a log.

" My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf."

The wolf jumps up and runs away.

Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again

And this time he is crouched behind a bush.

"My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf."

Again the wolf jumps up and runs away.

About 1/4 mile down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf

Again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock.

"My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf."

With that the wolf jumps up and screams, "Will you knock it off,

I'm trying to poop!" 

"His blood on my arm is warm as a bird
his heart in my hand is heavy as lead
his eyes through my eyes shine brighter than love
O send out the raven ahead of the dove

His life in my mouth is less than a man
his death on my breast is harder than stone
his eyes through my eyes shine brighter than love
O send out the raven ahead of the dove

O send out the raven ahead of the dove
O sing from your chains where you're chained in
                                                                                        a cave
your eyes through my eyes shin brighter than
                                                                                        love
your blood in my ballad collapses the graves
O sing from your chains where you're chained in
                                                                                        a cave
your eyes through my eyes shine brighter than love
your heart in my hand is heavy as lead
your blood on my arm is warm as a bird

O break from your branches a green branch of love
after the raven has died for the dove"
-leonard cohen

Make your own Honeybee!

I know it's not Mother's Day yet but I just wrote this off the top of my head for my Mom. I like it.




Mother, I wish I was gold
Daughter, you'd grow very old

Mother, I wish I was water
You would be very cold, my daughter

Mother, I wish I was thinner
Daughter, at least you have dinner

Mother, I wish I was beautiful and able
Daughter, sometimes the prettiest flowers bloom later

Mother, I wish I was whole
Daughter, those cracks spared your soul

Mother, I wish I was fast
Daughter, sometimes the winners come last

Mother, I wish I was strong
Daughter, you have been all along

Maxine was driving down the street in a sweat because she had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.




Looking up toward heaven, she said, 'Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up sex and tequila.

'

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.



She looked up again and said, 'Never mind. I found one.

I'm hearing lots of good things about Iron Man and I can't wait to see it! I've never been a huge fan or really read any of the comics but I really think it is cool that he is/was an alcoholic.

Side note: I hate how there's this stereotype that an alcoholic is always an alcoholic. I agree to it to an extent but I think it really sends the wrong message and it makes people feel bad. But that's a whole different rant. And let me be clear that I am not saying by any means that an alcoholic should ever drink even if they are sober for 100 years. I just don't like how society stereotypes alcoholics and the word in general has a negative image. Which is kind of funny considering ANYONE has the potential to be an alcoholic. But like I said that's a different rant and I am getting away from the main subject. You know how I love a good tangent.

Like I said, I've never really read the comic books so I don't know enough about Iron Man to say if I like the book or the character but he was alright alright by me. A lot like Batman in a way. But I am way excited to see this movie and I think Robert Downey Jr is a very talented actor and seemed perfect for the role. I enjoy Jeff Bridges too. I just have to try REALLY hard not to see him as The Dude. I love the Big Lebowski so much and it made such an impression that I have to actively not see that character in him. Haha! But that's a compliment.

Yes I did just make a whole post devoted solely to Iron Man. You knew I was a dork so don't act surprised. ;)

Edit: I take it back. Someone posted this about the comic Marmaduke and I wanted to share because it made me giggle: http://marmadukeexplained.blogspot.com/

 What would you do if you knew you could not fail?  

I want to get two more tattoos. I want one on my shoulder/back and one on my ankle. I want one to be of a fox and one to be of a phoenix. And I want them to be smallish. But other than that I am open to ideas. One cool fox one I saw was this:
 



Anyone got anywhere I can look or maybe some good suggestions? :) I'm all excited!

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly
-- Chuang Tse